Chicken

For school we had to read Tomorrow When The War Began.
I loved it and have started to read the rest of the series.
It makes me think, what would happen if I were in Ellies shoes?

I have only just started to learn how to drive, im a teenager with teenage problems.
Like does that guy like me, Do I like him?
Should I spend an extra ten dollars and get the better dress?
Or should I save that money and use it for that new jumper?

Then the guilt sets in, Guilt of how can I be worrying about guys and clothes when so much is happening in the world?

How can I be using my life so selfishly?

Why don't I just ask the guy out? Why don't I just buy the dress and the jumper?
Why am I being such a chicken about things that are so trivial?
Why am i not doing more with my life?

How can someone be so blind to their own stupidity?

People die.
Its a fact.
We are here and then we are gone.
The thing that matters is making the most of your time here as you can.

So I need to stop being chicken,
I need to live my life,
Because I never know when it could end.

Kathleen Armstrong

we all will

I recently wrote this poem, its not happy, its not cheerful but it means something to me...

Im dying from loss of blood
My sight is becoming speckled with black dots as the world i once loved fades as i do
My chest, the pain, the smells of death engulf me
Pushing, kicking, screaming
My body twiches against the pains
Fighting for life
But theres nothing i can do
Im doomed to die
I have lost too much blood
The feeling in my hands fades and they grasp at my wounds trying to save their vessle
But as i loose control of my legs and the darkness becomes too much
I stop thrashing
I stop screaming
I stop living

Maybe its too dark and deathly, but not all the world is. There is good and bad, sometimes we have to look at the bad to focus on the good...

Kathleen Armstrong

slime

Do you remember the last time you made slime?
Do you remember the feel of the coloured goo slip through your fingers?
But that coloured goo could also become as hard as a rock... until it lost its shape and seeped through your spread fingers.

Sometimes i think life is like slime, you could have this amazing big ball of happiness, until you stop molding, and it looses its hardness, turns glossy and slides away. You will slowly try to get it back but all it will do it slip and slop everywhere as you frantically clasp you hands trying to get it all back you just make it worse and lose it all.

Don't stop molding, because loosing your happiness is like loosing life.

Kathleen Armstrong

spiders

When you know you have to let go of something, you want to hold on to it. You never want to let it go. Because change is hard. Change is different. Change is change and people generally try to avoid change. Why do we?

We avoid thing that are different because we dont know how it will effect us. Alot of the time, people will tell you what things do, for instance... someone telling you that spiders are dangerous. You don't want to go near the spider because you don't want to put yourself in in front of danger. Some people are arachnophobic, are so scared of spiders they CANNOT stand to be anywhere near them, or somewhere where they could be. Some people act this way about change. They hate it, dont know what to do when it happens.

Certain people expect you to be good at change, but to some people change is like a spider to an arachnophobic. I dont know the technical name for the fear of change, but i do know that no matter how bad it may seem, change is sometimes for the better :)

Kathleen Armstrong

New Years Resolutions

What do you do on New Years?
Do you get drunk is celebration?
Do you party with your mates?
Do you spend it with your boy/girlfriend?
Do you simply celebrate at home?
Do you celebrate at all?

Why is it cause for celebration?
Its just the end of a month, a day... do we celebrate those?
So why do we celebrate the end of a year?
Is it to commemorate all the memories you had in that year?
Is it to start fresh?

You don't have to wait for the new year to start a fresh, or to quit smoking/drinking or to start that new diet.
You don't need the new year to change your life, all you need it the will to do it.

Kathleen Armstrong